/. WAKE UP YOU'RE DEAD.


I HAVE NO SCHOOL TOMOROW!!!

i repeat. : NO SCHOOL TOMOROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why am I so happy..?I don't know XD

I feel bad for not blogging. Damned habit. Ive got looong overdue homework to do...gah.Dad's been getting more crap from mum..apparently I'm misbehaving. DUM DUM DUM. wth, larrrrr.

On my randomized, minimized JRock/Vkei scene:
Been trying to memorize the romanji to "Gate to the sky" to no avail. I know so little D...sigh. I failed at trying to remember Mayutsuki no Mitusgi, only the last bit's that in Romanian. Oh look, now I'm blabbling. blehblehbleh KERU YOU MUST SEND ME MORE D! XD but he's very busy..-_-
Got more Gazette songs from Kai. She got more Rentrer songs from me. ^^
I WANT VIDOLL. someone gimme Vidoruu~!!!!
Jui's voice is yum-meh. So are his lips.Mmm.
Kero sent me loadsa Antikku. SHE'S STILL GOTS MORE~!! methinks.
(actually that was some time back....just felt a need to post that)
My JRock/VKei sponsors..whee.
oh, HANU YOU MUST SEND ME MOI DIX MOIS!!
Haven't had time to download their stuff. hm.

On my Shinya cosplay:
Nope. No change. Still haven't gone out to go look for my stuff. meh.

On my school stuff:
Yesh the wrath of overdue homework. GAH. I have a painting to get started on...O.o
And tile murral thingies to complete. But they're in school ha so I don't give a shit. XD
My teacher just suffered from a miscarrige. I'm really proud to say I know her, simply because she refuses to come into class looking sad and depressed when she knows we'll be affected by it. I think my eyes watered when she said that, immdiately, infact. hm. We were given some assignment about what would be you're greatest gift or something like that, and I wrote "my family back together". Wrote a bit more and then stopped. Ended it with saying" all i want is my family. But it's just too much to ask for. I can only wait and pray". I hate my emo-ness.

On everything else:
I need to save $138 by the end of August. All for my boots. crap. I'm attempting to starve myself at school to save whatever I have. I've got $20 for my lace gloves <33

that's about it for today.

mehmehmeh I'm going to Johore for the weekend.

mehmehmeh.NO INTERNET FOR 3 DAYS.

I'm going to die.

mehmehmehmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

/. iishROTTINGin-her-ownDESPAIR.

Yeah, I normally don't do those kinda titles but hey..I ran out of titles.
Yes, I am rotting in despair. This entry is mostly ranting about how sucky everything is going, and how stupid and pointless being me is.

First off I wanna say how stupid everything seems to me now. My Diru team is still falling apart, even before it began. Okayokay, I'm exaggerating. I just lost my Kaoru..she's intending to do another Diru cosplay..and so she won't be joining us. So this meant Kaoru and Die are still remaining...
I just feel a little bit disappointed and discourged by this. Even a little stress I find, nowadays, unbearable. I don't know why. I miss being cold and stable. My mind is being stretched far too thin, and my past hurt has just amounted to a huge pile. My heart aches for some reason, and I feel faint. I can't breathe properly sometimes, and sometimes I can't think straight. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Maybe you do.
Don't think so.

And another thing that I want to say is, I HATE MYSELF.
Haha..actually, I don't. I love being myself, and I love my mind. Most of the time. I love my body, I love my spirit.But I do dislike the darkness of my skin..>< Gives me limited choices on who to cosplay. Haha..a dark-skinned, big-boobed Shinya. AH, screw you. X3

Okok, I'm serious now. (pfft..as if.)
Anyways. I had an odd incident today. A friend of mine started talking about arm warmers during Science. I was kinda happy that he even knew what they were called. So I talked to him for a bit, Hanuram gladly joining. When he,(the friend) asked about where to get them, I flinched. And I made it so obvious that he couldn't miss it. He saw me I think, but chose to ignore me. Hanuram told him where to get it and stuff..He asked Hanu to get it for him since he couldn't. All this while I got really pissed for some reason and sat there scribbling over and over again in the same spot. Drawing my pen over and over again in that spot seemed to tell them that I was pissed. It made me think; if a norm like my friend were to wear things like arm warmers and stuff that norms define as "freaky", "stupid" and "lame" (or any other adjactive you can think of), they'll start calling "freaks" like me when I go out decked in said things and be labelled a "poser". gr.

I explained this to Hanu in shushed tones in broken Malay,and he understood. He told our friend that you had to dress like a Goth/Punk/Lolita to be able to enter the shop and purchase its items! LMAO and he believed him! But I was still pretty pissed at the guy for even asking. I didn't talk to him for the rest of the day.

We'll see how things turn out tomorow. XDDDD


Yesyes..pettypetty me.....


Such trivial matters and yet I whine and grumble.


Thank you and good night America.

/. theBORED


This whole (okay fine, mostly..) post is entirely typed out of boredom and APPLE JUICE!! (my love..)

I FINALLY HAVE DECIDED TO DO!!!!! (er..cosplay. -_-' too bad..)
Yesh, ladies and gentlemen, I AM GOING TO DO SHINYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!!!
^^ Yay.

I've already got my KYO...waaaaaaaaaaa~!! Hara-sempai's doing him .(!) And Miaka's doing Totchi~!!! WOHOOOOOOO!!

So, this adds a coupla more things to my to-do list for the next few months. Gah.
1. LOSE WEIGHT.
-we cannot have a fat Shinya neeeeeee..??
2. GO HUNTING FOR MATERIAL!!
-yesh. Shall make an outing of this. Bring Hara,Kero,Kai..Yay. Shall meet Hara and Kero for the first time. ^^
3.MAKE THE OUTFIT DUUUUUUUUUUUUUH~!!
-doh.
4. uh....can't think of anything...XDDDDD

THREE DOWN, TWO TO GO!!!
now GIVE KAO-KUN AND DIE-SAMA SOME LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEE!!!!!!
pleaswe.<3333





<333 Shinya

/. the PANDA-FIED


Yesh, I am panda-fied.

My Geography and English teacher are leaving. Mr Luo (the geog teacher) is going on to Universaty. Ms Suraiya is going to NIE.

And a whole buch of crap which I forgot because it got erased. ><


WHY IS EVERYONE LEAVING???



Hm. Well, I can't go for the photoshoot. One thing, I'M STILL GROUNDED on account of my phonebill. Well, I had to get a punishment in some way. -__-' Another thing is that I'm going to be in Johore for the rest of the weekend. GAH.

Now for random quizzes.

3 YEARS AGO

how old were you?
11

what grade year were you in?
primary 5

where did you go to school?
Haig Girls'

where did you work?
In my own twisted works...in the darkest corner of my room as usual.

where did you live?
Tampines.

how was your hair style?
Really looooooooooong.

did you have braces?
nope.

did you wear glasses?
yeah

who was your best friend?
Azri

who was your boyfriend/girlfriend.
..i went to an ALL GIRL'S SCHOOL.

who was your celebrity crush?
Tom Felton

how many tattoos did you have?
none

how many piercings did you have?
2

what car did you drive?
no car.

what was your favorite band/group?
Linkin Park

what was your worst fear?
I was reckless. I FEARED NOTHING.

had you smoked a cigarette yet?
eww..no.

had you gotten drunk or high yet?
no

had you driven yet?
no.

had you been to a real party yet?
yupps.

had your heart broken?
no


**NOW.....

how old are you?-14

where do you go to school?
skss

where do you live?
In my mind

where do you hang out?
Everywhere. Usually in Compasspoint.

how is your hair style?
shoulder length, fridge covering half my face

do you have braces?
no.

do you wear glasses?
DON'T REMIND ME

who is your best friend?
Azri. Debbie. Hanuram.

still talk to any of your old friends?
yeah

who is your celebrity crush?
ASAGI~!! SHINYA~!!!

who is your regular-person crush?
I DO NOT HAVE A LOVE LIFE I KILLED IT.

how many piercings do you have?
2

how many tattoos?
none

what kind of car do you drive?
i cant drive n i'm still 14.

what is your favorite singer/group?
at the moment...eh...Can't decide. Malice Mizer...Dir en Grey..eh.

have you smoked a cigarette?
no. Cigerettes make me choke.

have you gotten drunk or high?
On sugar/redbull

have you been to a real party?
no..if your definition is underage drinking and partying. I don't party.


that was stupid.













Miyavi = teh SMEX.

/. the LISTLESS


I'm back. Yay..my prayers were answered...Mum dropped the case. But she's going to court -again- to file for the custardy of us. (again..I apologize for my poor spelling skills) More crap on the way.

I don't know what I'm feeling now. Sometimes I feel drained, exhausted, and like just crying. I feel...odd. Positively odd. Was in a slump all day. Wrote a strange story for English essay due tomorow. Still not finished ><>usual),


On a lighter note, I may be appearing on Sunday for a photosoot. This calls call for STREETWEAR, GL, PUNK and they said they don't mind Goth. So I'll prolly just be going in my usual black thingies.^^ Yay. But I haven't told dad...grr. Need to get some contacts from there...Anybody from sg..??? help..meep.

here's the thread if you're interested. : {link}









Nope, still emo-ing.
Damn..I need to change the layout.
><

/. the INTROPERSECTIVE.

Yessh. I'm beeeing emooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Dad's going back to court for some stupid case mum filed against him. What an asshole. She already got her fucking divorce..what more does she want..???

*sighs* I hate my life right now. Feeling so emo for the past few days..I honestly felt like crying at the most inconvinient times of the day. Like when I'm at school for example..and on the bus....or when someone else is asking for advice...I hate myself.

I love my dad and everything..but sometimes he makes me feel like all I ever do is make him disappointed. I'm not a bad daughter! Sometimes I go a bit out of bound, yes, but I'm not a bad one!

Fuck this shit.

I'm going to go the bed tonight with the knowlege of knowing that there could be the slightest possibility that Dad may not came back to us. He already works at a fucking high-risk job..and now this shit. Wonderful..all I'm missing is..I don't know.It's getting late, and I need rest.

On a less serious note, I am happy to report that I STILL do not know who to cosplay as for EOY. I've been thinking about doing Diru ^^ but I want it to be as real as possible. No screamers avaliable. -_- I posted a thread on sgcafe asking for Diru cosers..but no one replied..=/

Join..? ><











FUCK THIS SHIT.

/. the PANDA speaks


I'M BACK. I was too lazy to update after Cosfest, and half of my post from there got erased (I say erased because something happened when I was composing it.) and I couldn't be bothered to edit it again. And if this get erased, I still couldn't be bothered to edit it again. HAHAHA. Worship my utter laziness. BWAHAHA.

I had ELDDS today. GAH SO TIRING. My ling was sick. Poor thing. Stupid breakup must've worsened her condition. heh. Got back late. Cam whored for a bit. Now my camera's battery's weak. >< Serves me right for not buying rechargeable batteries.

Was sleepy the entire day. Fell asleep during MT, and other consiquent time of the day. PE was boring. I was quiet the whole day...until ELDDS of course.

Goodnight.

/. theVAINITY

MEH~!!


Cosfest is over! Ah well. I suck in any photographs people took of me. Find them at sgcafe.com. I doubt you'll find me, or that you even want too. ( but if you do, I'm cosplaying as an angsty-teen Alice from Alice in Wonderland. I'm wearing a weird apron with the word "Bitch" written somewhere on my apron. And a big ass bow!) I took only a coupla pictures, I was too lazy.


><bombarded by "paperazzi". ( I just have the worst spelling skills..) I was like.."WHERE'D THEY COME FROM?" and nearly forgot how to pose. LOL.

I wub my teddy. =^^=
So when the whole thing was done, Kai and Ai went back..and left me feeling a bit awkward with Miaka, Jude and Peter. And with my little brothes too..-_- So we cam whored a bit more from having a lack of better things to do while chewing on sweets. Then we walked to the Pasir Ris interchange..IN THE DRIZZLE. (it would've been more dramatic to say rain...but meh.) And my makeup got screwed 20 times over, which was ok because my right eye was supposed to have the 'tear' effect going on. My teddy got wet! >_<






















HAPPY BIRTHDAY AZRI!!!!!!!!

/. theGIDDY


GAH. I've got a bad headache.

Too much thinking.

COSFEST tomorow. Meh. Overly excited.

Onto more serious matters. I have a HUGE headache.
We've drifted apart..I know you feel it too.



GET A FUCKING LIFE.



Mine is bad enough without you giving me even more crap to deal with. I HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR WHINING.

This doesn't mean I hate you. I AM JUST TIRED OKAY? I have a lot on my mind now. I've had enough of thinking and worrying, and you giving me even more crap doesn't help.

So I apologize in avance, and I will do so again and again and again if that's what it takes to just say a simple sorry.




















































I'm sorry.

/. the DEADNED LEGS.



and fingers too. -_-