/.

Listening to : The Domestic Fucker Family - Dir en Grey
Mood : Bitchy.


the following will contain several swear words, thus making my rant seem obscene and uncouth. I DON'T FUCKING CARE.

nnn.

[rant]
No one can control who they fall in love with. We can't control that anymore than we can control the weather. SO, EXPLAIN TO ME WTFH ARE PEOPLE TRYING TO CONTROL HIM AND WHO HE LIKES?
Even if the girl of his dreams does so happen to come along after I go away, I doubt she'd be anymore innocent than I would be. Fine, so you think the way I dress is loud? Shameless?
FINE. SEE IF I REALLY FUCKING CARE.
Life's too short, it can't be lived wearing boring clothes in your youth.
Don't give me bullshit reasons. We're not getting married. We're just going out. That's all. So if you fuckers really want to control him, fine, do so, by all means. You are family, and so family knows what's best for an angst-ridden teenager. Suuuuuuure. Okay. I very much want your blessing, but then again, you're not my parents, nor his, so back off will ya?
And btw, don't bug on him just because you're jealous that you don't have a boyfriend. Don't make noise. Just sssshhhh and stfu pls.
Don't try to end our relationship just because yours is going down the drain. Don't tell me that I'm incapable of trying to even sustain anything that resembels a relationship. You can't do any better, really.
And so, if you want me to back off, sure, I'll be respectful and back off. But really, I'd very much like to dare you bitches to find me someone who treats me better than Ash does.
You know you'll fail.
And what are you afraid of? That I'm going to just use him and then throw him away?
Do you really think I'm that sort of person?
Whatever. Don't give me lame excuses and say that I'm too young for a relationship dammit. You won't even let him talk to me. Huh. How wonderful.
I hope you know, if he kills himself it'll be on your conscience. But then again, you wouldn't care would you? You'd be more than happy to dance on his grave and kick the soil loose. You'd never tell me because you're my best friend. But I know.
...Fuck you and your incapability to handle other people being happy.
You just can't accept the fact that he isn't the same person you left behind in Singapore a year ago, can you?
You can't accept the fact that he only seems to be caring, loving and and actual feeling person to me alone, can you? You can't accept the fact that he's a different person from the gritty doom and gloom cousin from a year ago, can you?
You can't even seem to accept the fact that he has a reason to be happy, just for once in his life. What a wonderful cousin you must be.
I'd very much like to taunt you in person. But no, I'm far too immature, I rant about it publicly on my blog.
I really don't have the heart to really and truly hate you.
Because you're all like my own sisters, and I could never hate family. Another great flaw in my grand design.
I want to be selfish, just for this. I'm tired of giving people the things they want, letting them be satisfied with my lies, and deceiving them like I breathe air. I promised my parents long ago that I'd always tell the truth, I guess I broke that promise.
So I'm telling the truth now.
Deal with it girl, and don't give me lame excuses. I don't want to see things from your point of view, I want you to see things from my point of view. Hell, even if you were in love with my worst enemy, I'd try to see things your way.
Oh, but I guess that's the difference between you guys and me. I actually give the bad guys a chance.
hm.
fuck.
you.
all.
[/rant]





-anis.