/.

"Understanding (Wash It All Away)"

"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the imprint is always there."

(Can't wash it all away)
(Can't Wish it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
(Can't cry it all away)

The pain that grips you
The fear that binds you
Releases life in me
In our mutual
Shame we hide our eyes
To blind them from the truth
That finds a way from who we are
Please don't be afraid
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence
Screaming in our hearts
My love for you still grows
This I do for you
Before I try to fight the truth my final time

"We're supposed to try and be real.
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real."

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away

Lying beside you
Listening to you breathe
The life that flows inside of you
Burns inside of me
Hold and speak to me
Of love without a sound
Tell me you will live through this
And I will die for you
Cast me not away
Say you'll be with me
For I know I cannot
Bear it all alone

"You're not alone, honey."
"Never... Never."

Can't fight it all away
Can't hope it all away
Can't scream it all away
It just won't fade away, No

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away

(Can't fight it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
Can't scream it all away
Ooh, it all away
Ooh, it all away

"But the imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten."
"Because I'll die if you do."
"Because I'll die if you do."
"Because I'll die if you do."
"Because I'll die if you do."
"Because I'll die if you do."




Happy 3 months.
Que sera sera.



what will be will be.
this is our last post here.
Find us here.


I love you. Always.

-anis.



lyrics © Amy Lee, Evanescence, and all respective owners.

/.

Listening to : Kodoku no Kessho - Danger*Gang
mood: content

stupid
fawking
internet
thingy.

kept me out of the net.


evil evil evil.



nnn.
but oh-

- aren't we just too adorable?

School's the same as usual, and drama is as usual. I keep to myself more and I'm still odd.


...What a great way to start off the New Year.

I have a whole lot of crap to complete ( random art pieces I never finished, commisioned pieces, etc ) and a few books to read ( Macbeth etc).

And I'm happy to report that I'm gaining confidence with my (singing) voice! ♥ I kinda abused my vocal chords yesterday singing Malice Mizer and the like, (mostly Klaha stuff) and even tried Rentrer en Soi. A lil bit off, but hey, I didn't get any vocal training lessons. ppft.


anyhu, a bit more toward our three-month anniversary! Ten more days to be exact. wahahahah.


I want the romanji to this song. bah, why is it so hard to find it?? ><
crrryyyy out shout one selffff~ yuki ga furi.
can't master this song yet. whaahah. I'm beginning to bore myself now. meh.

that's all for now.
oh, I think I want to get another blog thing. This one is geeting old, and screams for retirement.

cheers.
-hitomi.

I swear.
My lings are the smexiest thangs in the world <3

/.
gosh.
I take back the bad cosplay comment I made a few posts back. I found more good cosplayers!
but alas...I found a rather...ecke Gazette team.

...even some cosplayers were rather adorable ^_^
hurrah! more motivation to cosplay! I wanna cos Ishizu Ishtar from YGO!, but at one of the smaller events. Next year's EOY, I'm going as Teruki [AnCafe] from the Tekesuta Kousen PV. LALALALA i'll be in a suit. ooo.
and then I'll have to do my Shinya cos. nn. I want to cos him more often. <3
AND OMG DADA COSER!!! <3<3<3
sho purdy

ok now I need sleep. nite nite.

-hitomi

If you get more than 30 you're paranoid.
If you get 21 to 29 you normal.
If you get 11 to 20 you are pretty normal.
If you get 10 or less you're fearless.
People who don't have any are jerks who want people to think they are tough stuff.

Everyone fears something... you just have to find the right thing.


I Fear...

[] gay people
[] the dark
[] being single forever
[] being a parent
[] being myself in front of others
[] open spaces
[] closed spaces
[] heights
[] black cats
[] birds
[] fish
[] ants
[] driving
[] flying
[] flowers or other plants
[] being touched
[] fire
[] dark water
[] the ocean
[] failure
[] success
[] thunder/lightning
[] frogs/toads
[x] my boy/girlfriend's/(ex)boy/girlfriends dad
[x] my boy/girlfriend's/(ex)boy/girlfriends mom
[] mice/rats
[] jumping from high places
[] snow
[] rain
[] wind
[] cotton balls
[] cemeteries
[] large crowds
[] crossing bridges
[] death
[] Heaven
[] being robbed
[] men
[] women
[x] having great responsibility
[] doctors, including dentists
[]tornadoes
[] hurricanes
[] diseases
[] snakes
[] sharks
[] shots
[] Friday the 13th
[] poverty
[] ghosts
[] Halloween
[] school
[] trains or railroads
[] odd numbers.
[] even numbers
[] being alone
[] being blind
[] being deaf
[] growing up
[] monsters under my bed
[] creepy noises in the night
[] bee stings
[] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[]blood
[x] someone you love or care about getting hurt
[x] someone you love or care about hurting you
[] love
[x] losing my loved ones
[] Spiders
[x] God
[] Other

.....7.
SEVEN OUT OF SEVENTY-TWO.
....=.=
nnn. I'm...fearless. I guess. wahahaha.
I realized today that I've never had an argument with Ash. Have never started one either.
IT'S THOSE OTHER PEOPLE WHO MAKE HIM ANGRY >O

stupid idiots. nn.

that's all for today.

-hitomi

/.

watching : FRIENDS
mood : ....

I still have food poisoning. gah.


...And I didn't go for EOY. I'm glad I didn't.

I realized that a majority of Singaporeans are NOT fit for cosplaying. It's really so...disappointing ._. My motivation to cosplay increased, surprisingly. Like to show em I could do it so much better. wahahahaha.

My sempai did an amazing job cosplaying Kyo sama though. Both Hara and Kai. Mizuki cosplayed as well, but I wasnt sure who she was cosing. I think it was Jui..I forgot >_>
nnn.
I feel like puking at the thought of food now.

-hitomi

/.

Listening to : The Domestic Fucker Family - Dir en Grey
Mood : Bitchy.


the following will contain several swear words, thus making my rant seem obscene and uncouth. I DON'T FUCKING CARE.

nnn.

[rant]
No one can control who they fall in love with. We can't control that anymore than we can control the weather. SO, EXPLAIN TO ME WTFH ARE PEOPLE TRYING TO CONTROL HIM AND WHO HE LIKES?
Even if the girl of his dreams does so happen to come along after I go away, I doubt she'd be anymore innocent than I would be. Fine, so you think the way I dress is loud? Shameless?
FINE. SEE IF I REALLY FUCKING CARE.
Life's too short, it can't be lived wearing boring clothes in your youth.
Don't give me bullshit reasons. We're not getting married. We're just going out. That's all. So if you fuckers really want to control him, fine, do so, by all means. You are family, and so family knows what's best for an angst-ridden teenager. Suuuuuuure. Okay. I very much want your blessing, but then again, you're not my parents, nor his, so back off will ya?
And btw, don't bug on him just because you're jealous that you don't have a boyfriend. Don't make noise. Just sssshhhh and stfu pls.
Don't try to end our relationship just because yours is going down the drain. Don't tell me that I'm incapable of trying to even sustain anything that resembels a relationship. You can't do any better, really.
And so, if you want me to back off, sure, I'll be respectful and back off. But really, I'd very much like to dare you bitches to find me someone who treats me better than Ash does.
You know you'll fail.
And what are you afraid of? That I'm going to just use him and then throw him away?
Do you really think I'm that sort of person?
Whatever. Don't give me lame excuses and say that I'm too young for a relationship dammit. You won't even let him talk to me. Huh. How wonderful.
I hope you know, if he kills himself it'll be on your conscience. But then again, you wouldn't care would you? You'd be more than happy to dance on his grave and kick the soil loose. You'd never tell me because you're my best friend. But I know.
...Fuck you and your incapability to handle other people being happy.
You just can't accept the fact that he isn't the same person you left behind in Singapore a year ago, can you?
You can't accept the fact that he only seems to be caring, loving and and actual feeling person to me alone, can you? You can't accept the fact that he's a different person from the gritty doom and gloom cousin from a year ago, can you?
You can't even seem to accept the fact that he has a reason to be happy, just for once in his life. What a wonderful cousin you must be.
I'd very much like to taunt you in person. But no, I'm far too immature, I rant about it publicly on my blog.
I really don't have the heart to really and truly hate you.
Because you're all like my own sisters, and I could never hate family. Another great flaw in my grand design.
I want to be selfish, just for this. I'm tired of giving people the things they want, letting them be satisfied with my lies, and deceiving them like I breathe air. I promised my parents long ago that I'd always tell the truth, I guess I broke that promise.
So I'm telling the truth now.
Deal with it girl, and don't give me lame excuses. I don't want to see things from your point of view, I want you to see things from my point of view. Hell, even if you were in love with my worst enemy, I'd try to see things your way.
Oh, but I guess that's the difference between you guys and me. I actually give the bad guys a chance.
hm.
fuck.
you.
all.
[/rant]





-anis.